#chav infection

[bikercbr6]

Fuck me, it’s good to outta the house now. Caught Chav, didn’t I and had to stay in for a week. Sod that, mind, I felt better after a couple of days so came into town. Don’t really care now if I’m so-say contagious, do I? What do them fucking experts know, anyway? Nah, this new smoking lark will keep the bugs away anyway. Funny how easy it was to start. Wish I’d done it years ago, actual. Feels so right. Just finish this one, and I’ll pop over there. Yeah, JDs. Knew it was popular, but have you seen them queues these days? One in, one out for fucks sake. Takes so fucking long. Now they give out numbers. I’m 96. Or 69. 69 sounds better, yeah? Think it’s a lower number. There’d better be some trackies I like left, mate, or I’m gonna kick off good and proppa. And some decent sneax my size. Then I won’t need these on me feet, will I? Might leave them in dad’s bedroom, just for a laff. Wot you reckon? Hang on, just got to text work and let them know I ain’t going in. Not ever. Bloody boring it was anyway, sitting in that office wiv all that paperwork. Sod that from now on. You ok? Look a bit flushed, dontcha. Tell you what, you finish off this fag. We’ll go sit over there, and a few puffs will perk you up. Yeah, go on. I’ll just light up another one. Don’t need no excuse now, bro. We’ll keep an eye on that queue together. I’ll blag you in on my ticket. We can save time by sharing the changing room too. By the look of you now I think you’ve caught Chav yourself…

[bikercbr6]

Fucking hell! I’ve bloody done it again. Turned up for that bloody daily commute to the office. Forgot I don’t need to go to that boring place anymore. The Doctor said I had the worse bout of Chav he’d come across, then he used big words like intellyjelly or something. It was summat I didn’t need anymore anyway. Which is nice, ‘cos the less things I have to think about the better. Makes life simpler, don’t it? Still, I gotta remember that I go down the park in the mornings now. Take me bag with the cans and cigs in to share with me mates. We always end up with another couple of new bruvs each day. Must be because they can see us having so much fun all the time. Them fucking threads they wear though make me laugh so much, I sometimes spill me drink. So we take ‘em into town later, into JDs and see what’s left. Oh yeah, better check with my gang where they is. Boy they gonna take the piss out me coming here again when I tell ‘em…

[broooooo]

A satisfied customer

Josh was your average guy, skinny, plain clothes, and basic haircut, he wasn't insecure, but he also wasn't full of himself, he flowed through life like a plastic bag, allowing fate to take hold, in the back of his mind, he has dreams and wishes, kinks and wants, but his only flaw was, he was lazy, he couldn't find the energy to achieve a dream.

One day, josh was walking through his city, observing the masses, a mix of normal folk, and the ever illusive . Drone. He'd seen them, heard about them, he was intrigued and curious about them, but never could do anything about his urges , he secretly kinda liked the thought of being a drone, but any time he got a nock on his door, he never acted upon it.

That's when he walked past a gaming store, one advertising a fresh new experience, a vr head set. One where it allows the user to experience their deepest wishes, and actually have it come true. Josh was confused about it, but curious.

So he went inside and asked a worker, the guy told josh that whilst your strapped in the projector will show us your wishes and we can make it happen, and you wouldn't even notice until it was over, and when it ended was entirely up to you, the experience allows the user to be in bliss and joy.

Josh's mind races with thoughts , his heart beat fast, he was excited, he told the worker he wants to do it. The workers smiled and ushered josh into one of the back rooms,

There was a single person couch in the middle of the small room, and the rh head set placed atop it. Josh went to sit down as he was fully alone in the dark room, he settled back and placed the head set on.

( the room has relaxing mists and stuff that eases his mind, making the user easy to work with)

He opened his eyes and he felt like he was in space, he was light, so all he had to do was think of a wish, or several. It was quick , he saw his vr self transform, as well as the surroundings. It kept switching from a football field, a dingy pub, or a room of drones being pumped of cum, these were joshes kinks, his interests, his wishes. He so desperately wanted to play soccer as a kid, but never could, he would always admire the strong willed chavs, how they don't care for rules and live for themselves, he wanted to be a chav, but then came the drones, who needs all these worries when you could submit to the drone overlord and cum forever, all drones the same , obedient, horny, and rock hard leaking at command.

Josh began to be almost sad , he was seeing his vr self running on a field, drinking beer with a group of chavs, and being milked of cum. He so desperately wanted it all, but he didn't know if it was possible. He watched as his vr football self kicked goals, and jacked off drinking beer in the locker room with the team , he watched as his vr chav self stalked streets, did graffiti, drank beer, smoked and jacked off with his mates, then he watched his vr drone self, incased in latex, heavy leather boots strapped to the ground, while a machine sucks the cum from his dick, just like all the drones around him, doing the same thing.

Josh was conflicted, he wanted it , all of it, he also never wanted to leave, to forever experience this feeling of brotherhood and joy.

Outside the workers watched on the screen as Josh's mind switched from wish to wish , they understood him, and promised to make his dreams come true,

A group of drones enter the room, and unbeknownst to josh begins to strip him, prepare him for Injections.as Josh's mind raced, his irl body, was being fitted , his muscles were grown from the infections, his dick was rock hard and throbbing the entire time.

The workers worked diligently to change his clothes every time his wish changed , football gear and cleats for one, a tracksuit and tn sneakers for chavs, and heavy leather boots and latex for drones ,making sure to whisper into his mind that he is all 3 of these, that he can be all he wants to be, one for the drone workers working Josh's dick , edging it on and allowing the transformation to take place.

Hours. Days. Weeks.? Josh could no longer tell, through desperation, his mind crafted a vr self and landscape to fit all his desires, he was clad in tight latex, a short crop chav hairstyle, a tight latex football jersey and shorts over top, and studded leather boots on his feet (along with sneakers and cleats to change into), and a latex dick to finish it off. The terrain was a field, but it had drones running around, beer bottles scattered, ton josh he was now a football chav drone, in his vr world , he ran around scoring goals, messing around in the locker room, fucking the team and Cumming, being obedient drones , but also stalking the streets and alleyways, doing graffiti before going to drink or practice,

Josh's mind was melted, he was seeing spirals the entire time, it taught his brain how to play football, how to strategize, how to be one of the guys in the team, how to drink beer , how to jerk off with maximum pleasure, how to graffiti, how to talk like a chav, a man, but also how to be obedient, how to transform others, how to be a good drone, the pleasure was getting to big, he new what he wanted, he knew what he was, he was a chav, he was a footballer, he was a obedient horny , drone

Irl, his outfit matched his vr self, josh twitched and moaned as he threw off his vr head set, unable to hold in, as his leaking throbbing 12 inch latex drone cock shot out load after load of cum, it took forever for it to stop, it covered him, the couch, the floor, but also the machine that was jacking him off and collecting his cum.

The cum soaked into him as he lay there rock hard, horny, as reality set it.

*Yes.... Football... Cum.. beer... Chav... Drone obedient....*

He smiled hard, he couldn't believe it, but at the same time, believed it all,

He got up, free from any tubes and machine and walked out the room, the stomping of his boots sounding, the door opened to drones to greet him, they too were like him, football chav drones,

One of the drones spoke

*Oi mate, ya lookin good bruv, how's you feeling*

Josh spoke up

*Oiiii fuck mate, I feel good bruv, fuck I'm so fuckin hung* he thrusts his hard dick and the drones embrace josh and they also all leak from their rock hard dicks,

The drones and store workers smiles and josh starts his new life with his new gang of guys. Ready to play football, drink beer, graffiti and obediently be good drones, knocking on doors , ready to transform others. And they all walk out the store, another satisfied customer

_____

I'm surprised how much I like this 😅 I'm leaking hard

[stanpinessecretlover]

(ooc) CHNT British infection au!

The British infection comes from the tea, Juniper brought some from his hometown of legsworth and it had the British virus that would turn you.

Sydney will be the first one caught, drinking the tea and immediately developing the accent used by the British.

Yvonne is surprisingly the next one infected, she got thirsty and decided to have a cup, turning her into a raging "chav" almost immediately

Jedidiah is the third person, unknowingly drinking the tea and becoming a British child of the "year seven" mentality.

Joshua comes next, after not being able to sleep and drinking the tea to help, he wakes up in the morning sporting a lovely majestic type of British accent

Matthew, Elijah, and Up & Adam are immune to the virus

Marisol and Salem are infected together, both saying cheers and drinking tea on a picnic date

Soren immediately fled the premises after finding these zombies are british. He's staying with Elijah.

Fennel, being the careful person they are managed to narrowly avoid the infection, but ended up accidentally farming some tea leaves and turning as they were planting things

Rowan was able to avoid the infection, and is working to stop the disease, which he nicknamed "The Brit", from spreading, and is working closely with Matthew to cure it.

Elijah is actively trying to turn people

[babyawacs]

.@law @law @harvard_law .@harvard_law @bbc_whys @all @world biology yikes and supersudoku solved ‎gutssubdue recent years caused hemmorroids and those are bleeding regularly yikes not so nice makesure germans donot moron pillage or rob pillage fibrin and my cellmatter zellstoff fibrin lifetime energy zellulose and the thing from kne es ellbows against their artritis and such usually robbery pillage leechery aswellas how verfassungsschut lymphatic relevant recoma intelcoma mess shoots the immune system sth about that then infects hemmorroids and toes even these are the mildsafety mild effects usually the ygas suffocate damage killtrick trombosis emboly catapult pillage the implant repairs cheap sleazy badenser badenser rape implant mengele on wounds and backleg drenage to genital to wounds groin to genital fluid mess or church fry lick whats disgusting damamge template forehead nonhostile but botch is foreheadleft anti doom weenie but a brain damamge foreheadleft onthe structural damamge eraser structural damamge turn back clock trickery with alibi too weeniesh to aeh be employed by germans sotheyhaveno other choice then 2022 and hooker sleaze decoy as underhuman sssexxxmembership others justmurder the chavs they have no right to exist as the parasites they are any repair is undeserved it is germany and themildsafety isnow likely abit oddity onleechery and recoma mess lymphaitc relevant abit brianbotch mess usually killtrick worse thereis support onmy ass cautionwithmysupport donot harm my support andmykids aid mysupport and mykids

.@law @law @harvard_law .@harvard_law @bbc_whys @all @world biology yikes and supersudoku solved ‎gutssubdue recent years caused hemmorroids and those are bleeding regularly yikes not so nice makesure germans donot moron pillage or rob pillage fibrin and my cellmatter zellstoff fibrin lifetime energy zellulose and the thing from knees ellbows against their artritis and such usually robbery…

[balillee]

cant wait for ranboo to go to a british gp for a throat infection and come back with a chav accent

[teenageculturesdead]

Losing the Battle of "App-Diction"

Is it untrue that as young people today we spend more time on our phones scrolling our lives away, than we do actually being in the moment? Is it untrue that we are more likely to believe information we find via social media than we do via our own peers? And is it untrue that we care more about the state of our social feeds than our mental health?

The age of the internet is sick with addiction and it may be too late to find a cure.

We live in an age where there are children who cannot eat, sleep or play without having some sort of device to watch simultaneously — gaining them the well fitted nickname ‘iPad kids’. These same kids, who despite having lived their whole lives in the UK, now refer to there mother as mommy and believe that candy is the correct word for dessert. American accents spill out of these children’s mouths as soon as they learn to talk which is shortly followed by their mannerisms. Reality seems so distant to these children and it will hit them hard as soon as they reach secondary school. No longer is their idea of the ‘High School Musical’ school experience suitable as they come face to face with a contest of ‘who can be the biggest chav?’ and ‘how many fights do you think I can get into before lunch?’. Long gone are their hopes of breaking out into song mid lesson or their dreams of sharing school spirit with their piers. In their new reality they must adapt of be seen as an outcast, a wierdo, a freak, a loner and the list goes on.

Now that’s not to say the screen obsession stops here. No. In fact its the complete opposite. It only worsens. Now these preteens have discovered social media. The cruel world of likes and comments. The place where self acceptance goes to die. The place where these still naïve children lose their innocence.

That may sound dramatic but its only the beginning of the truth and I, myself can attest to that. When I look back on the last few years of my secondary school life, every single piece of drama or gossip can all be traced back to some sort of incident involving social media — and a lot of this is probably still public to this day. Any teen who was largely active on the internet in 2018 will remember the whole drama involving Annie Leblanc (now going by Jules Leblanc), Hayden Summerall and Mackenzie Ziegler. To put a long story short a video leaked of Mackenzie and Hayden kissing at his 13th birthday party whilst he was still dating Annie, this caused absolute uproar across social media as people came to Annie’s side to support her. Some die hard Hannie (Annie and Hayden’s ship name) fans took this to astronomical levels and a close friend of mine at the time was one of them.

‘@kenzie go kill yourself u snake u made Hannie break up’. This was a comment that my friend made publicly on a post that had nothing to do with the situation. A comment that they will forever regret. I remember vividly them getting pulled out of class by our pupil support teacher after word of the comment had spread. I remember that those closest to them tried to stick up for them. I was not one of these people. Through the whole situation all I could think was If they can so confidently say that to someone they doesn’t even know across the internet, what are they capable of saying to people they actually do in person. I just couldn't get my head round how they could say something so horrible to someone without even knowing the truth behind the story. It was YouTube gossip. I constantly thought about how they would have felt if Kenzie had listened to this comment and wondered if they would then have shown remorse. I have since rekindled my friendship with this person in the hopes they have grown up, but I must admit this will always create some sort of distance between us.

And that’s just one story, one person, one situation. Think of the amount of times young people are subject to stories just like this everyday. Think about a time in your life where social media has infected someone’s mind so terribly that it clouded their moral judgement.

I haven’t even touched on the dangers of not getting enough likes on your recent post or being left on delivered for hours on end even know you know that persons active. I don’t even know where to begin on the absolute fear that someone screenshotting a message has. In short there is far too many ill effecting dangers in something that is so prevalent in all of our daily lives for us to accept it. Yet we do.

Why?

Simple. We are sick. Addicted. Obsessed and insecure. We are teenagers and we are losing ourselves to the internet.

[hazzabeeforlou]

Louis Covidson it is now. Dont care about the band crew family or his stans. Lets spread Omicron by getting everyone infected cause hanging in a pub with his beloved chavs is the top priority.

Was Louis in a pub? Do we have PICTURES? Harry’s headlining Coachella, I’m still stick with Omicron and literally every disabled or comorbid person in the world is reeling from the probability that they will catch this, and possibly die. At this point the CDC will probably go to Harry’s concert then have a drink at Louis’ pub. What’s your point everything sucks and there are few “right” answers.

[areyouwho-ithinkyouare]

when owen jones wrote ‘Chavs’ he opened it with a story about his educated, liberal, left-wing friends who campaign for racial/gender equality and canvass for the labour party, joking about woolworth’s closing down because “where will the chavs buy their christmas presents?”. Classism is a fucking sickness and it infects even supposed progressives who publicly will celebrate unionisation while shitting on actual poor people in private. And i have zero fucking patience for them.

[jokeblade3-blog]

Cryopen.

Zimmer Cryo 6 Cyro therapy System.

Content

After treatment.

Why choose Fat Freezing?

Mole clinic At Mallucci London.

Our center.

how Much Time Does The therapy Take?

It's Called stubborn Fat For a Factor!

They can additionally be operatively removed, sometimes making use of neighborhood anaesthetic. Skin tags are made from loosened collagen fibres as well as blood vessels bordered by skin. Skin tags are tiny, soft, skin-coloured developments on your skin. They can vary in colour and also dimension-- from a few millimetres approximately 5cm wide.

How does fat leave the body?

Research shows that 84% of fat loss is exhaled as carbon dioxide. The remaining 16% of fat is excreted as water. During the conversion of energy, carbon dioxide, and water are byproducts of waste. They are excreted via urine, perspiration, and exhalation.

For questions or advice regarding employment civil liberties, call the Labour Relations Agency. If you have a comment or query concerning advantages, you will certainly need to get in touch with the government division or company which manages that benefit. The nidirect privacy notice applies to any type of details you send on this responses form. If you have an inquiry about a federal government solution or plan, you ought to call the relevant government organisation straight as we do not have access to details about you held by federal government departments. This responses kind is for concerns with the nidirect web site just. Skin tags are safe and also do not generally trigger pain or pain.

Just enter your details below as well as we'll sound you to provide a quote or address your questions. We will use your individual details to refine your query and also get in touch with you with relevant info. For further info, please see our internet site personal privacy policy. They are composed of loose collagen fibers and also capillary, bordered by skin, and they expand in a projectile pattern.

Impaired or persistantly sick individuals can assert BARREL relief on purchases for personal or residential use that apply to their handicap or illness. Skin tags can easily be scorched or scorned in a similar method to just how growths are gotten rid of.

After therapy.

While it is true obviously that the criminal offenses of wrong-doers were shown on signs where they were kept in the supplies or pillory, there is no evidence that 'unlawful carnal expertise' was penalized or explained in this way. Clenched Mens facelift treatment connects here to the striking context, not the sexual interpretation, which is a whole different story. Remarkably the humorous and story-telling use of bacronyms is a common gadget for producing scam word derivations. chav - repulsive anti-social individual, male or lady, usually young - this lately popular vernacular word has given rise to a troublesome and also completely retrospective' bacronym' - Council Housed As Well As Violent. This old use was not after that necessarily disparaging, unlike the modern meaning of chav, which most certainly is.

In the North-East of England the contemporary versions are charva and charver, which adds no integrity to the Chatham misconception. Please send me any type of other theories and regional analyses of the word chav.

If you do not permission for us to refine your personal information for marketing tasks, we will still have the ability to contact you concerning your query. Your professional will talk with you concerning the possible threats and also complications of having this treatment and also just how they relate to you.

Why select Fat Freezing?

When it does I would certainly expect much confusion regarding its origins, yet as I state it has absolutely nothing to do with food preparation. screaming mimi/mimi's/ meemies/meamies - An aliterative expression with comparable significances to sis terms such as heebie-jeebies and also howling abdabs, which roll off the tongue just as well. The typical use of the expression seems to be American, with various referrals suggesting initial use of the 'meemies/mimis' part from as far back as the 1920s. An abyss definition has created since then to define a negative reaction to medicines, instead like the expression 'chilly turkey'. A 'Shouting Meemie' was likewise US army vernacular for the German 'nebel-werfer', a multi-barelled mortar.

They need to likewise be increased over the skin on a stalk or stem like piece of skin. Inflamed or contaminated skin with signs of soreness, itching or swelling. such as moles, birthmarks, dark-coloured, unshaven or any type of unusual-looking skin disease.

How long should you wait between CoolSculpting treatments?

The recommended minimum wait time is 30 days before you get a second freezing session on the same treatment area. It may be slightly more effective to wait a little while, however. Ideal results from treatment are usually seen around three months after the initial session.

Skin tags a little developments, often discovered in the eyelids, neck, underarms, groin, under the breasts and also in the folds up of the butts-- anywhere, in fact where the skin scrubs versus itself. Spire would love to provide you with marketing details about products and services offered by Spire and also by selected third-party partners.

Mole clinic At Mallucci London.

Please upload cryolipolysis of the location for our clinical staff to review. Reserve directly in for therapy by having your problem evaluated by our surgical nurses completely free. I consent to Sentinel Healthcare gathering my details through this form. Skin tags are small flesh-coloured or brownish growths that hang off the skin as well as look a bit like growths. You may intend to think about Surgical treatment to obtain them removed if they are unpleasant as well as affect your self-worth, or if they snag on garments or jewelry and hemorrhage.

Our facility.

There is often no demand to remove them unless they obtain larger, infected or regularly traumatised or they alter. In some cases you worry about a changing mole, that resembles a tag.

for How Long Does The treatment Take?

We additionally use FREE review consultations, if you would like to be evaluated in person. Skin tags are tiny, soft, skin-coloured developments that hang off the skin and also look a little bit like moles. Fill out your details to see one of our experts at a practical time for you. A dark scab will develop, the dimension of a dot, do not pick and allow to diminish on its own. No covering or dressing is required following surgical procedure, nonetheless we might offer you a place plaster simply to cover the location for the very first few hrs adhering to surgery. If you desire to look at an issue or fault you have actually already reported, get in touch with DfI Roadways.

Removal is a relatively uncomplicated procedure that is normally done under neighborhood anaesthesia-- so you won't really feel any type of discomfort and also you'll have the ability to go residence the very same day. You should be able to relocate them backward and forward with your finger.

How many inches can you lose with CoolSculpting?

Results vary for each patient. However, there is an average of 20-30% reduction in the treated area, which can significantly slim and contour your waist and abdominal region. Many patients lose several inches from their waistline after the completion of their recommended treatment plan.

Exactly how large and also visible this will be relies on the exact operation. We will certainly also give you recommendations on exactly how to lower the appearance of your mark, such as gently massaging the website after your stitches have actually been gotten rid of. You will not need to require time off work as well as you should be able to return to your normal activities quickly. This is a regular day case or outpatient treatment, so people can leave as quickly as they are ready to be released. Our clients go to the heart of what we do as well as we desire you to be in control of your treatment. To us, that implies you can select the expert you want to see, as well as when you want.

It is a fascinating phenomenon, which highlights a vital component of just how languages progress - significantly the impact of international words - and the close inter-dependence in between language and also culture. The term lingua franca is itself an instance of the lingua franca impact, considering that the expression lingua franca, currently taken in right into English is initially Italian, from Latin, meaning actually 'language Frankish '. Frankish refers to the Frankish empire which controlled a lot of landmass South-West Europe from the 3rd to the 5th centuries. Huge active cities including diverse areas, particularly traveling as well as trade hubs, offer a fertile atmosphere for the usage and also development of lingua franca language. As necessary, an indicator would be placed outside the bed-chamber, or maybe hung like a 'do not disrupt' notification from the door handle, displaying the words 'Fornication Under Approval of the King'. Regretfully nonetheless that this rather far-fetched origin has no support whatsoever in any type of trusted referral resources.

I would certainly advise the HIFU treatment for anybody that wants the same results as surgical procedure, without going under the blade.

The team will certainly address all your concerns, explain each therapy in a language that you can recognize as well as supply upfront as well as truthful guidance on just how you can best redefine your body!

You'll additionally be revealed existing prior to and also after photos of customers just like you to ensure that you'll get a real feeling for just how your body could be changed.

At the end of your appointment, you'll be presented with your advised treatment programme in addition to transparent prices for you to take home to think about.

The expense might be a little bit more initially but you will need much less treatments, see far better results quicker.

The renovation in my skin was a gradual procedure over 2-3 months, each month I might notice my skin getting stronger, tighter and also smoother.

Each customers' treatment plan is personal and tailored, made to aid each individual lookandfeel much better.

A committed device to this single HIFU modern technology is much more reliable.

The pot describes the pot which holds the stake cash in gaming. The related term 'skin game' describes any form of gaming which is most likely to rip off the negligent and unaware. Judging by the small variety of examples (simply three in the context of business/negotiating) found on Google at March 2008 of the phrase 'skin in the pot', the expression has just very lately theatened to go mainstream.

Hifu Vaginal firm.

They are smooth and soft as well as, unlike excrescences, they are not transmittable. They might hemorrhage if they remain in a subjected location yet they are painless, benign and also safe in themselves.

[xxxthe-grammar-nazixxx]

Like a Boss

Disclaimer:  This is a Misfits fanfic. Any extra characters not originally on the show have been added by me. I do not own these characters (apart from Moira and Reg, her superior). Caution, some iffy language, sex scenes, and a heathy dose of wishful thinking. Set during season 2 after Nathan finds out he has a brother.  A new PO turns up, but she has an ulterior motive. However, her plans don’t go quite the way she expected... 

 Part 1

 Moira watched them from the safety of her new office. With the blinds drawn and the louvres open, she could see them, but she was pretty sure they couldn’t see her. Which was just the way she liked it.  The word was stealth. She felt rather like the lioness who waits patiently in the long grass for the weakest antelope to separate from the herd.  

And there he was.

At first glance, probably nobody would consider this guy the weakest link. He was loud, brassy, frequently crude, and clearly got off on being the center of attention. As a prison guard, and then a parole officer, she’d seen her fair share of his type. They were the class clowns, the ones who made it easier for the real threat to sneak under the radar and turn a relatively simple job into a complete and utter clusterfuck. It’d be a genius ploy - if these types actually had any idea what they were capable of. But too often, what was on the surface was the sum-total of its parts.

The rest of them … well, they pretty much made up your average group of ne’er-do-wells.  There was the athlete, the pretty girl, the chav and the quiet kid. Moira fully intended to keep a sharp eye on the quiet kid. They usually turn out to be your garden-variety virgin weirdos but sometimes you find a diamond in the rough. Or a great big bloody thorn in your side. Moira wondered which this one would turn out to be.

Enough sizing up, she thought, I’d better get out there before Groucho Marx decides he’s going to take control of things in my absence. Knowing the paper-pushers in the department, they probably hadn’t even alerted these guys that their last probation officer had gone missing.  That would explain why they turned up in the first place. If they knew, they’d have probably decided to skive off for a few days.

Grabbing a hair tie, she wrangled her bright red mop into a serviceable ponytail and checked the mirror in her handbag to make sure she didn’t have any of the poppy seeds from that morning’s breakfast muffin in her teeth. There was nothing worse than trying to assert your authority with a bunch of young people – especially delinquents like these – if you gave them even an inch of rope to hang you with.

The one she’d privately dubbed Groucho Marx because of his thick eyebrows and propensity to flirt with a light bulb was in the middle of a mock race call, as the group in the adjoining common room were put through their paces.  She peered through the blinds at the scene, trying to make out what manner of creature was being forced to compete for the entertainment of humans.

It’s a crab race, she realized. Are they for real?  Of all the things they could be using this place for, they decide to put on a time-trial for crustaceans.  I’ve got to get out of this place, she thought, shaking her head, before they infect me with their craziness!

She approached the group quietly.  Which wasn’t easy because Groucho was on a roll with his race-call, and she almost laughed out loud.  They seemed to be egging on a small, speedy crab with better peripheral vision than his peers. While the others waddled sideways and backwards and all over the shop, the speedster had his eye on the prize – whatever that was.  

‘Run, Forrest, run,’ urged Groucho.

Okay, I really should find out his name, Moira thought. Ditto to all of them. Time to break up this little shindig.

She cleared her throat and barked out an ‘Oi’ that was just a bit louder than she’d intended, because even the crab-wranglers looked up, temporarily taking their eyes off their charges. What ensued can only be described as utter mayhem as the crab-wranglers tried to work out whose shellfish was whose. A tubby, middle-aged man with a whistle around his neck glared at Moira. ‘Good work’, he called out. ‘Now how are we supposed to figure out who the winner is?’

‘That would generally be whoever’s in the lead,’ Moira replied, calmly, nodding in the direction of Speedy Gonzalez, who was mere inches from the finishing line while his fellow competitors were, well … not.  But she couldn’t resist an extra jab at the referee’s expense. ‘Of course, you could have invested in some name tags. You know, put some stickers on their shells with numbers on them?’

The referee looked positively apoplectic. Either that or he was having a heart attack.

‘Lady’s got a point there,’ Groucho observed. ‘I mean, it’s not a very well-organized affair if you ask me.’

‘I’m not askin’ you; am I, Curly Sue?’

‘Hey hey,’ Groucho cut in, putting his hands up in surrender. ‘No need to get personal!  I was just offering a bit of constructive criticism.’

‘I think we should leave them to it, don’t you?’ Moira pointed out. ‘They’ve got more than enough to handle without an audience.’

‘And you are?’  This was from the resident chav, a girl who wore her blonde hair scraped back from her face so tightly that it was frankly amazing she could move her forehead.

‘I’m Moira, your new probation officer.’

‘What happened to our last probation officer?’ asked the one she’d pegged as the dark horse of the group. He was mildly good-looking, with pale skin and a perpetually pained expression.

‘Oh, he quit. Said something like he’d rather be in Aruba than hang out with you rejects.’ Moira rolled her eyes. ‘Also, he said something about not wanting to be the “next cab off the rank”, whatever that means.’

The athlete – a tall, black kid – scoffed. ‘Yeah, that sounds like him.’

‘He must have heard about Sally,’ frowned the short, pretty one. ‘We never found out what happened to her, either.’

‘Well, apparently she’s also missing,’ Moira informed her. ‘Her and her fiancé, Tony. Remember him?’

She couldn’t miss the chorus of silent looks that passed between them.

‘What do you mean, she’s gone missing?’ The pretty girl asked.  ‘Is Sally all right?’

‘I think what it means is, they don’t actually know where she is,’ Groucho explained, with more than an air of condescension.

‘Well, d’uh, Nathan! All I meant was … well, she was the best one yet. She actually seemed to care.’ The pretty girl gave Groucho – or, Nathan, rather - a look that could kill, and he took a step back in mock panic.

Moira blinked. ‘The best one yet … Hang on … how many PO’s have you guys had, exactly?’

‘Oh, just two,’ Nathan informed Moira. ‘Since the storm, I mean.’

This drew a chorus of warning glares from his peers. Wait a tic, Moira thought. What in the blue blazes is going on here? What are they hiding?

‘That would be the storm from a few weeks ago, right?’ she asked the room in general. ‘The one with the giant hailstones or whatever the hell they were?’

‘They were bits of meteor rock, actually. The council had them scientifically tested.’

‘Oh, shut up, Barry! No one wants to hear your theories about aliens.’ Nathan sniffed.

I’ve got him pegged, Moira thought. Take the attention from him for a millisecond and he can’t cope.

Barry bristled with resentment. ‘I don’t think it’s aliens. I think …’

‘’Look,’ Moira interrupted, ‘I think we’ve spent enough time getting in the way of the Crustacean Olympics here. I think we should move off somewhere a bit quieter, where we can all hear ourselves think, and introduce ourselves. How’s that for a plan?’

 ****

 ‘So,’ Moira said, in a low voice into the phone’s receiver so that her charges wouldn’t overhear her if they chose to eavesdrop at the door, ‘I think something is definitely rotten in Denmark. They alluded to the storm – or the tall, loudmouth did – and they all gave him what can only be described as a death-stare. I think he’s the weak link, and I think he can be broken.’

‘Moira, these kids need a firm hand, not Tomas Torquemada.’

‘Oh, come on, Reg!’ she countered, with a grin. ‘Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.’

‘You were just dying to drop that one, weren’t you?’ he laughed.

‘Excuse my French; but fuck yeah. Anyway, I wasn’t talking about employing any heavy-handed interrogation tactics. If you really want to know what happened to both Tony and Sally, leave it to me. I’ll get it out of him. Them,’ she corrected herself, quickly.  

‘Hmmm… I’ll leave it in your capable hands, then,’ her boss decided. ‘But no rough stuff, Moira. You’re dealing with kids here. Not hardened criminals.’

‘That,’ Moira told him, ‘remains to be seen.’

 ****

  She glided along a safe distance behind Nathan and the athlete – whose name was Curtis and who looked oddly familiar, although she couldn’t place him – and watched them, wishing she had the capabilities of the London Metropolitan police on her side, like she used to. She could have used a bug on one of these kids. Nathan was out, as he didn’t appear to enjoy the sensation of clothes against his skin for any length of time, so maintaining covert surveillance on him was going to be a challenge.

But any one of the others might have worked. Especially Simon, as unlike Nathan, he did like clothes. Multiple layers in fact.   Plenty of places to pin a tiny little receiver …

Wait, why am I even thinking about this? Moira wondered. Like Reg said, I’m not in corrections anymore. Prison stings are a part of my past. I need to get that through my thick skull!  What I can do, however, is keep a close eye on this bunch. Nice work, if you can get it!   They’re all fairly decent looking, for amateur criminals. No missing teeth, overpowering BO, or tattooed knuckles with this lot!

Some twenty yards in front of her, Nathan jumped up onto a concrete pylon and mimicked the Karate Kid in that famous stance.  He didn’t last long though, because Curtis gave him a playful push in the back. His sense of balance only just saved him from winding up in the river a few feet away. ‘You wanker!’ Nathan exclaimed, laughing. ‘You’ll keep.’

He’s the one, Moira decided. He’s the key to all of this. Now, how do I get him to do what I want?

 ****

 She had her answer fairly early on. That very week, as a matter of fact. It was a Friday, and the kids were talking about what they were going to get up to once they hung up their coveralls for the weekend.  There was the usual baiting of Simon, who, according to Nathan, was probably going to either play World of Warcraft non-stop for 72 hours or set something on fire; and some talk about Kelly getting back into a club she’d previously been banned from entering because of a catfight between her and her ex’s new girlfriend.  One thing Moira could always say about her job – it was never boring.

Then she saw her opening. Or rather, Nathan handed it to her.

‘So, Miss,’ (which was the name he’d taken to calling her, for some reason known only to himself). ‘How do you let your hair down?’ He hung off the back of his chair, his green eyes glinting with mischief as usual. One thing she could say about Nathan Young: he was definitely easy on the eyes, if not the ears!  (It wasn’t that she didn’t like his accent.  He just never seemed to shut up).

She grinned despite herself. ‘Wouldn’t you like to know, boyo.’

‘You’re Irish, aren’t you.’

‘Gee, whatever gave you that idea?’  

‘Well, your name, for starters.’

‘I could be Scottish.’

‘Yeh, but you’re not.’

‘No, I’m not,’ she agreed.

‘Why don’t you have an accent, then?’

‘I do, I’ve just spent a really long time in England. Practically grew up here. But every now and then – especially when I get angry or … otherwise emotional, the Irish in me does come out.’

The dimple in his left cheek became deeper as his grin grew wider. ‘Otherwise emotional? Hm… what would that entail, exactly?’

Moira chuckled. ‘Does your mind ever leave the gutter, young man?’

‘On occasion. Not really.’ He leaned his chin in his hand. His intense stare was beginning to make her nervous. And Moira, by nature, was not a nervous person.

She sighed. ‘I think those sorts of things are best left for me to know and for you to wonder about. Don’t you?’

‘Probably, but I’m just curious.’

‘Curiosity killed the cat,’ she reminded him.

‘Ah Miss, you’re a mystery. Get it? A Miss …’

‘I get it,’ she said, smiling despite herself. Stay focused. Don’t let him sidetrack you, her inner voice warned. He’s surprisingly good at that. The kid could sell ice to the Eskimos. The dimple alone would close the deal.

He increased the wattage on his stare. Moira’s hands started to move of their own volition, playing with her watch; fidgeting with the amethyst ring on her right hand. What is this? she thought. I’m supposed to be putting him under the pump!

‘How old are you?’

She gaped at him. ‘Nathan Young, you know better than to ask any woman her age!’

‘Forty?’

‘Close enough. I’ll give you that.’

‘Fifty?’

‘Steady on! You’ll have me in a nursing home, soon enough.’

‘So older than forty, younger than fifty. I can work with that.’

‘Just what is that supposed to mean, exactly?’ She coughed. He was walking a line, now. She wasn’t sure if she should be flattered or turned off.

‘Well, see, thing is, my old man …’

‘You are not thinking what I think you’re thinking!’

He blinked, innocently. ‘What?’

‘Setting me up with your “old man.”’ She crossed her arms over her chest. ‘Don’t even think about it.’

He burst into a gale of laughter. ‘No, no … that’s not it, at all.’

‘Then what? What are you getting at?’

He regained his composure and met her gaze fair and square. ‘I was going to say, my old man’s getting married next Saturday. I don’t … I was invited but … we don’t really get along. There’s a plus one on the invitation, and … I noticed you’re not married, and you don’t have any pictures of any gentlemen friends on your desk, so … I was wondering … well, if you would kinda, sorta … wanna go as my date.’

Moira stifled the almost explosive urge to giggle. ‘Me?’

‘Yeah.’

‘What about Kelly or Alisha?’

‘I’ve …’

‘You’ve already asked them,’ she finished for him. ‘Nice to be first choice, I guess.’

He winced but didn’t apologize. At least, not right away. Instead he glanced warily in the direction of the others, who’d wandered off toward the vending machines, arguing about who was paying for the next round of crisps and sweets.  ‘Well,’ he said, ‘Alisha’s kind of with Curtis at the moment, and Kelly said something, but I’m not sure what it was because I don’t speak … whatever language it is that she speaks.  That girl really needs an interpreter.’

‘So, she could have said yes?’

‘Going by the expression on her face at the time, I’m gonna say no.’

Moira shook her head, amused.  Nathan’s face fell, almost comically. ‘Oh, you’re not saying no, too?’

‘Surely there’s someone closer to your own age that you could ask?’

‘Not without being accused of in-breeding, no.’

Moira did laugh, then. And had to try and stop herself because he really did look dejected.

He sighed. ‘I guess I’ll have to give it a miss, then. I mean, what am I worried about, right? Dad’s not going to give a crap. He’s got his new family. The new missus is half his age, she’ll probably give him another sprog in about nine months’ time and then he won’t have to worry about this little black …’

Moira reached out and put her hand over his. ‘I’ll go.’

His face brightened. ‘Really?’

‘Yes, if it matters that much to you, I’ll go. I’ll probably regret it and you’re sure as hell not getting anything extra out of it, so don’t even think about it – but I’ll go. Happy?’

He grinned, the dimple making another appearance. ‘Ecstatic.’

****

 ‘So, how’s the subterfuge coming along?’ Her boss asked her, as they sat in a booth at their local, her cradling a G & T and he a Guinness.

‘Slowly.’  She took a sip of her drink. ‘I’m biding my time. What’s the rush? They’ve got about six weeks ‘til they finish their community service. I’ll find out what’s going on by then. Slow and steady wins the race.’

‘Right’ Reg conceded. ‘Why do I get the feeling you’re enjoying this more than you should?’

‘Come on Reg, when was the last time I got to play detective on the job? Bristol? You hired me for a reason. I’ll get it done.’

‘Oh, I have no qualms about that,’ he said, taking off his glasses and cleaning them for the third time in half an hour.

‘What do you have qualms about, then?’

‘Your methods.’

She was relieved then, that she hadn’t told him about her impending ‘date’. He might consider the idea a gross violation of her authority over these kids, and while it probably was, she was chuffed at the fact that she hadn’t even had to pull any stunts of her own to try and get closer to Nathan. He’d handed her the opportunity on a silver platter.

‘I told you, there will be no Good Cop/Bad Cop. I’m over that.’

‘Moira, with you it was never Good Cop/Bad Cop. It was only ever Bad Cop/Bad cop.’

‘Oh, hardy-har-har.’

‘I’m not joking.’

‘If you were that worried I’d cross some kind of line, why did you hire me?’  She stared him down, defiantly.

He sighed. ‘Because you’ve got a way with kids. Sorry – young adults. They’re not kids. They trust you. They like you. You’re like that youngish aunt with the cool hair that they can confide in. And believe me, there is something they’re hiding from everybody. Not just the fact that Tony and Sally are missing. Something else.’ He cleared his throat. ‘Something weird.’

‘Weird how? I haven’t noticed anything.’

‘I don’t know, but it’s got something to do with that storm. Everything’s connected to that storm.’

‘Reg, you sound like one of those nutjob conspiracy theorists.’

‘Just … keep your ear to the ground. That’s all I’m saying. And don’t overstep.’

She sighed and downed the rest of her gin and tonic in one gulp. ‘Well, you’ll be happy to know I’m making decent headway with the weakest link.’

‘In what sense?’

‘In the sense that he flirts with me now, probably more than with the girls his own age.’

‘Well, you still only look about 35.’

‘Thanks, Reg.’ Moira’s eyes skirted the bar across the aisle and stopped in their tracks. Oh fuck, she thought. That’s the last thing I need right now!

‘What? What’s wrong?’

‘Speak of the devil, and he appears,’ murmured Moira. ‘Do you want another drink?’

Reg lifted his glass. ‘I haven’t even finished my first one. But you owe me a round, anyway.’

‘Cheap bastard. I’ll be back.’

She set her glass down on the bar mat beside Nathan’s elbow and gave him a playful hip-bump. ‘What’s a guy like you doing in a place like this?’

‘Miss!’ He grinned and threw an arm over her shoulders. ‘Fancy seeing you here.’

‘You’re drunk.’

‘No. Well … Mildly buzzed.’

She sniffed. ‘You smell like a distillery.’

‘Oh that. I spilled a Bourbon and Coke on myself earlier. Had to go to the men’s and clean up. Lucky I like dark colours or I woulda looked like I pissed myself.’

Moira couldn’t help but smile. ‘Some girl tipped her drink on you, didn’t they?’

He winced. ‘She dumped it in my lap, yeah.’

‘What did you say to her?’

‘Oh, I just gave her one of my standard lines. It’s usually a winner, but I don’t know what happened.’

‘Try me.’

‘What?’

‘What’s the line? I might be able to tell you where you went wrong.’

She ordered for herself and Reg; and gestured to Nathan. ‘It’s my shout.’

‘Oh, no I’m fine, thanks.’

‘So, what was the line?’

‘Oh … I don’t know … I’m really kind of second-guessing myself now.’

‘Nathan, pretend I’m some young thing you want to shag.’

It was relatively dim in the bar, but she could still see the glint in his eyes. ‘Miss, you are some young thing I want to shag.’

Moira felt her face grow hot. Don’t pay any attention. The guy would flirt with a doorknob. You know this.  ‘Well,’ she said, ‘I’m flattered. I really am. So … give us this line, already!  I’m dead curious, now.’

‘Well … it’s … it’s nothing. It’s embarrassing. It’s kind of something I stole from … Austin Powers.’

Moira handed the bartender a tenner. ‘I’m sorry, what was that? You stole it from where?!’

‘Austin Powers’. If possible, he’d dropped the volume a few more notches until he was almost whispering. It was a good thing she was standing elbow to elbow with him.

‘Wait, that sounded like you said you got it from Austin Powers.’

He physically cringed. ‘Yeeeeah.’

Moira bit down hard on her lower lip to keep from laughing. ‘Not the suave spy I would have gone for but… horses for courses.’

‘I said …’ He leaned closer, so that his breath tickled her ear. ‘Those pants are really tight; how do I get into them? Then she was supposed to say …’

‘You can start by buying me a drink. I know it. It’s from The Spy who Shagged Me. Smooth, boyo.’ She chuckled. ‘Did you ever think of just walking up to a girl and saying “hi, I’m Nathan, can I buy you a drink?” You never know, it might actually work.’

‘Oh, I don’t know.’

‘Why not?’

‘You mean, be myself?’

‘That’s the general idea, yeah.’

‘Sounds risky.’

Moira laughed. ‘I think you’ll survive.’

‘So … are you … here with anybody?’

‘My boss, actually,’ Moira nodded in Reg’s direction. When she turned back, Nathan had a quizzical eyebrow raised. ‘No, it’s not like that. We’ve been mates for years. He’s happily married.’

‘Oh.’ She could have sworn he looked relieved. Or maybe that was just wishful thinking. Wait – Moira thought. Why would I want him to be relieved that I’m not seeing someone?!

‘Can I ask you a favor?’ She said, lowering her voice and leaning closer.

‘Of course. I mean, you’re doing me a hell of a favor on Saturday. I mean … if you’re still …’

‘About that,’ she interrupted, ‘if you happen to get talking to my boss at all, don’t mention the wedding to him, all right? It will not go down well. It’s technically … overstepping.’

‘So, you’re still coming?’

‘Why wouldn’t I be?’

He closed his eyes. ‘Thank you, thank you, thank you! I could totally kiss you right now.’

She should have been used to this sort of talk from him by now, but it still caused a jolt of electricity to race up her spine. And I want to let you, she thought, but there’s no way on God’s green Earth I’m admitting to that!

‘Oh well … that’s sweet. Um … I have to get back to my boss now so … I’ll see you Monday?’

‘Monday,’ he agreed.

She took one quick glance back at him before she turned and walked away. He looked so hopeful, so happy. For the first time since he’d mentioned the wedding, she felt good about saying yes.  And maybe even a tiny shiver of girlish anticipation; the kind she hadn’t experienced in years.

You’ve still got it, girl, she thought.

 ****

 Moira gave herself the onceover in the standing mirror in her bedroom. After asking Nathan what the dress code was; and finding that it was fairly relaxed – just a smidge more ritzy than smart casual – she went for an olive-green cocktail dress that her ex always said made her look like a mermaid, with her red hair tumbling over her shoulders.  A little bit of gold eyeshadow and burgundy lipstick and she was good to go. Not for the first time she was glad for her peaches and cream complexion. She didn’t need much foundation at all. Taking a deep breath, she slid on a pair of heels and grabbed her gold glow-mesh clutch. Rummaging around inside to make sure she had enough cash for the open bar, she hesitated, spotting the condom tucked in the folds of her purse.  Her stomach clenched.  She remembered why she’d left it there, months ago. The night she and Paul had gone out with friends and argued; and broke up. It had come completely out of the blue.  She’d hoped the night was going to end another way, because she’d gotten a promotion, and wanted to celebrate, but that wasn’t on the cards.  

She started to take the condom out – then had a change of heart. Always best to be prepared. She’d been a Brownie when she was a kid. They were always banging on about the Scouts’ motto.  

Just as she’d popped two Mentos in her mouth and double-checked her hair, the doorbell rang. At least he’s on time, she thought.  Now, this is not a real date, so stop thinking like it is! It’s a favour between two friends. Work colleagues, she reminded herself, quickly. In fact, not even that. In a weird way, I’m kind of his boss!

 And as his boss, you have some information to gather, she could almost hear Reg say.

Swallowing the mints quickly, Moira opened the door.

Suddenly, the wad in her throat seemed twice as big and twice as hard going down. Was this the same guy who regularly make fart and sex jokes in the same breath?!   It didn’t seem possible. He looked, well … frankly edible, really, in a casual pewter-grey suit with a crisp white shirt underneath. As was his fashion, the shirt was unbuttoned to just below his sternum, showing off a long, slim golden triangle of flawless skin. Moira found her eyes kept going to that strip of skin as if it was somehow magnetic. Finally, she dragged her eyes back up to his face. ‘Nice suit,’ she conceded.

He eyed her appreciatively. ‘Nice dress. You look like a …’

‘Mermaid?’

‘I was gonna go with Bond Girl, but yeah. Mermaid will do.’

‘Thanks. You’ve done something to your hair,’ she noticed. ‘Did you use a straightener?’

He ran a hand over it, as if the last however-long-it-took to get organized had slipped his mind. ‘Uh no, just some product. I mean … okay, not some. A lot.’

‘It looks nice.’

‘You mean, not like the usual bird’s nest,’ he joked.

‘I thought women were supposed to be bad at taking compliments.’

He chuckled but didn’t reply. Was it her imagination or did he seem nervous?  

She slipped out the door and locked it behind her. ‘Sorry, I’d ask you in, but we should probably get going.’ She explained. Plus, the thought of you standing in my lounge wearing that suit … I’m not going to be held responsible for what I’m likely to do!  

‘Yeah, that’s fine,’ he replied. A sly grin passed over his lips and was gone almost before she had the chance to register. ‘Maybe later.’

‘Yeah, buddy. Keep thinking that.’

  The drive to the bowls club was quiet, and full of a strange tension. He tried to dissipate it by turning on the radio but wouldn’t settle for one station. Moira gritted her teeth. She wished he would just let them sit in silence for a few minutes. But it was as if he needed noise as a kind of … social lubricant, maybe? Which was odd in and of itself because he was the most sociable person she’d ever met.

At the club, he ran around the back of the car and opened her door for her. It was so sweet. At least she thought so, until he explained that he’d borrowed the car from his mum for the night and the passenger door doesn’t open from the inside. So much for chivalry not being dead, she thought, stifling a grin.

Retrieving a hastily wrapped gift from the boot of the car, Nathan offered her his arm. ‘Okay, now, the story is …’

‘There’s no story,’ she finished for him. ‘I’m just a friend. You can say you met me at the community center. You don’t have to tell them anything more than that.’ She took his arm. ‘Besides, you don’t owe them anything. He might be your dad, but as you said, he did run out on you and your mum.’

‘Right, right.’ He cleared his throat. ‘True enough.’

‘Just relax,’ she told him, with an amused smile. ‘You look like you’re trying hard not to have a case of explosive diarrhea.’

He laughed a funny, high-pitched laugh. ‘Sexy.’

‘You don’t have anything to prove to these people. Remember that.’

‘I’ll try.’

 ****

 The bowls club had been decked out in white frothy tulle, with magenta trimming, for the ceremony. They took a seat toward the back, so as not to make a scene, and Nathan busied himself peering around as Moira sat quietly, strategizing.   How was she going to bring up the whole missing PO issue – pardon, missing PO’s, plural – without clueing him in to what she was up to?  She could hardly bring it up in polite conversation at the reception. Maybe later? Perhaps that whole idea of inviting him back to her place wasn’t such a bad one, after all. If she got him sufficiently plastered, the alcohol could work as a kind of truth serum …   Would he stop shaking that bloody knee, she thought, interrupting her own train of thought. It’s distracting!  She gave him another couple of minutes, then reached out and clamped a hand on the offending knee, which was, fortunately, the one closest to her (or to the casual observer, it would have looked super-iffy!)

Nathan spun around. ‘Huh? What?’  

‘Your knee was jumping up and down like a bloody jackhammer,’ Moira whispered. ‘Do you need a Valium? I have some in my clutch.’  Good idea; said that voice in her head. Valium on top of alcohol. He’ll be like a lamb to the slaughter.  If it doesn’t knock him out completely.

‘No, I’ll be fine.’

Damn.

He grinned. ‘As long as you keep that hand on my leg.’

She removed the hand.

The ceremony was blessedly short.  Not on the level of the short, short version in Spaceballs (Do you? Do you? Good, you’re married; kiss her) but it left out all the boring, sentimental bullshit most wedding ceremonies are full of and just got down to business. Moira had to wonder if Nathan Snr’s wife was a blow-in looking for a visa. Not that Nathan’s dad couldn’t possibly find someone who wanted to marry him for himself, but the ceremony had that rushed quality of a marriage of convenience.

‘Where is your new stepmother from?’ she whispered to his son.

‘Hungary, why?’

‘Oh … just curious. She looks familiar,’ she lied. ‘How long had they been together?’

‘About half a year, I think. Maybe less.’ He turned toward her. ‘Why the interest?’

‘Like I said, just … making conversation.’

He narrowed his eyes at her. ‘You aren’t thinking of dobbing them into immigration, are you? Because frankly, I think that’d be a low blow. Even if my old man probably deserves it. He seems happy.’

‘No, I’m not thinking that at all,’ she assured him. ‘Just because I’m part of the system, doesn’t mean I am the system.’

‘Okay. I believe you. Thousands wouldn’t.’

After the ceremony Nathan purposely dragged Moira to the front of the line to meet and greet the married couple. Now he’s showing off, she thought, and the idea made her smile. Even though they were supposed to be just friends, Nathan clearly wanted his father’s approval.  She curled her arm around his and turned her body toward him as they reached the happy couple. He raised an eyebrow at her. ‘I thought you said just friends? That you weren’t into pretending we were a couple?’

‘I did. And that’s still true,’ she whispered back. ‘But there’s nothing wrong with a little confusing body language. Don’t you want to make them talk?’

Nathan grinned widely. ‘You’re a woman after my own heart, Miss.’

‘You can drop the “Miss”, too, while you’re at it,’ she told him. ‘They’ll think you’re dating your teacher.’

‘Moira, then.’

She liked the way he said her name. She also liked the way he was looking at her now.  Not in a sleazy, undress-her-with-his-eyes glaze, but a respectful, “we’re in this together” way.   To quote the man himself, she thought, I could totally kiss him right now!  Stop, her inner voice warned. Just stop. You’re heading into dangerous territory here. You’ve got to look at this like it’s an undercover operation. He’s the witness. And what do they tell you about witnesses in law enforcement? Never get too close. Especially not physically!

‘Nathan! So good you could come.’ The two men shared an awkward hug and parted swiftly.

Nathan leaned forward and kissed his new stepmother on the cheek. ‘Congratulations.’

‘Thank you,’ she said, in a thick Eastern European accent. ‘I look forward to getting to know you, Nathan.’

‘Err … yeah, same here.’

‘Hopefully one day you will have a little brother or sister to look up to you.’

Nathan glanced at his old man. ‘So, you never told her, then?’

His father paled. ‘About what?’

‘About Jamie.’

‘Who’s Jamie?’

‘Yet another kid he abandoned,’ Nathan informed her. ‘My half-brother. See, he likes the idea of family, he just can’t deal with the reality of it.’

‘You little shit …’

And it was on for young and old.

God, you just couldn’t help yourself, could you? Moira thought, as Nathan and his father got into it, in front of the entire congregation. Yet she couldn’t help feeling a begrudging admiration for him. And had to wonder …  had this been his plan all along? To humiliate his old man in front of everyone he’s ever known?  Is that why he deliberately invited a woman at least twenty years older than him, to be his official date? Considering Nathan’s father’s new wife looked about 27 years old, Moira wouldn’t mind betting she’d hit the nail on the head. It was a stark comparison – the father with the much younger woman, facing off against his son, whose date who could have been his cool, classy aunt.

I have to do something about this, she thought, as the situation looked as if it was about to resort to fisticuffs.  It’s a wedding, for fuck’s sake!  

She’d broken up prison fights before. This should be a cinch. Putting herself between Nathan and his father, Moira pushed both men back to their corners, simultaneously.

‘Grow up, you two,’ she commanded. ‘Mr. Young, I’m so sorry. I had no idea he planned on making a scene. Nathan, you’re coming with me. Don’t argue.’

‘Who’s this?’ Mr. Young asked Nathan.

‘This is Moira,’ Nathan replied. ‘My date.’

‘His girlfriend, he means,’ Moira jumped in. ‘Aren’t I, Baby?’ She gave him a coy smile, and a secret wink.

Nathan blinked a couple of times and looked for all the world like a fish out of water.  She didn’t wait for his reply. ‘Anyway, he’s sorry he ruined your wedding. Aren’t you, Nathan?’ She whipped around to glare at him. ‘Apologize.’

Nathan’s old man smirked. ‘By George, he’s finally found someone with a bigger set of balls than he has.’

Moira responded to this by knocking Mr. Young flat on his back, grabbed Nathan, and they both got the hell out of there before WWIII erupted.

 ****

 ‘Thank you for that. You saved the day,’ Nathan said, in between gasps for breath, as he collapsed against the side of his mum’s car.

‘I thought he was going to flatten you. You’re lucky he reined himself in.’ She shook her head. ‘What possessed you?’

‘I don’t know,’ he admitted. ‘Just the idea of him erasing the fact that my brother existed … it was just so him, you know? So typical of him.’

‘Maybe he’s hoping for a second chance. To be a real father, I mean.’

‘Make that third chance. Okay … can we just go home? I need to get out of this monkey-suit.’  He pulled at the cuff of his shirt, roughly. ‘Damn thing’s choking me.’

Moira laughed. ‘You’re not even wearing a tie.’

He gave her an impatient look. ‘That’s not what I meant.’

Moira bit her lip. ‘I’m probably gonna get fired for this if they find out, but … how about we go to my place, instead? I mean, considering you obviously live at the community center.’

He blinked. ‘You know about that?’

‘Honey,’ Moira said, ‘Everyone knows about that.’

The second they were inside her apartment door, Nathan threw off his jacket and began unbuttoning the cuffs on his shirt, as if they were like manacles around his wrists. Moira watched; amused. ‘Would you like a drink?’

‘What have you got?’ he asked, pulling the tail of his shirt out of his pants and sighing with relief. ‘Anything single malt?’

‘Just gin, I’m afraid. But I do a wicked G and T.’

‘Okay. Thanks.’

In the kitchen, Moira poured their drinks then paused over his glass.  Do I, or don’t I?  Her conscience begged the question.  But he did need calming down.  He was much too wound up and suspicious of everything to spill his guts about the storm and Sally and Tony, and whatever other secret he and his fellow delinquents were keeping.  A Valium would do the job just nicely.

Decision made.

When she returned with the drinks, Nathan was sitting on her sofa, shoes discarded on the polished floor and shirt unbuttoned, but still clinging fetchingly to his long, lean frame. The sliver of exposed skin had become a generous chunk, and Moira found herself thinking, but it’s not my birthday!

She joined him on the sofa and pressed a glass into her hand. ‘Drink up.’

And he did. Practically downed it in a few gulps. Made a face toward the end, and there was a scary second where Moira thought he’d noticed the bitter taste of the diazepam, but if he suspected he’d been drugged, he didn’t say anything.

She took the glass from him and set it on the coffee table. Leaned her cheek on the heel of her hand; her elbow on the back of the couch. She was grateful his eyes were closed at that point, because she felt a tiny speck of saliva at the corner of her mouth. Jesus Christ, I’m drooling, she thought, wiping it away quickly with her free hand.  Any wonder, though. Look at him!  

And she did. Taking advantage of the fact that he’d more than likely fallen asleep, her eyes followed the natural progression from his high cheekbones and full lips, down his throat to his collarbones.  The open edges of his stark white shirt made his skin look golden in the muted light of her living room. She fought a compulsion to lean in and press her lips against his smooth chest.  God he’s good-looking, she thought. Too bad he knows it!  I’d better wake him up before I get caught doing something hideously embarrassing!

‘Nathan?’  

No answer.

‘You two-pot screamer! Are you drunk already?’ she laughed.

His eyes remained closed. He hadn’t moved.

Moira frowned. ‘Nathan?’

He didn’t respond to that, either. She reached out and shook him by the shoulder. ‘Come on, lad. This isn’t funny.  You’re freaking me out.’

She watched him, closely. Looking for any signs he was playing a prank on her. It would be just like him.

Wait, she thought. He’s not breathing!

She put a hand in front of his mouth and nose. Nothing. Not even the slightest puff of air. She grabbed the glass off the table and held it in front of his slightly open mouth.

No fog.

What the actual fuck?

Oh Christ, Moira thought, panic rising in her chest. I’ve killed him. He was allergic to Valium or something, and he didn’t know it, or he would have told me when I asked him if he wanted one earlier … and I drugged him without his knowledge and I’ve killed him!

‘Fuck … Nathan … you have to wake up. Please.’  She took him by the shoulders and shook him. ‘Wake up!’

When that didn’t work, the panic really started to set in. But so did the first aid training she’d been taught in her work as a prison officer. She jumped up from the couch and pushed the coffee table out of the way. Grabbing his legs, she spun them to the side, up onto the cushions, arranging him in a lying position on her sofa. It wasn’t the floor, but it would do.

She didn’t want to risk trying to move him to the floor in case she caused more damage, like a neck or spinal injury.  When he was flat out on his back, Moira hovered over him and took a deep breath.

‘Okay, here goes,’ she said, and began CPR.  Pinching his nose shut, she covered his mouth with hers and blew, thinking, this is not the way I wanted to be kissing him!  She gave him three quick breaths, like she was taught, then checked his pulse.

Nothing.

‘Oh God oh God oh God oh God.’  She wasn’t a religious person by any stretch of the imagination. It was more a case of panic getting the better of her than any kind of praying. ‘Please don’t be dead!’

She arranged her hands over his heart and began compressions.  Fifteen in all and then two more breaths. She counted as she worked. Checked his pulse again.  She almost sobbed with relief when she felt it – weak, but it was there.  She leaned in again to see if he was breathing …

And that’s when his eyes snapped open.

‘Oh fuck! Oh, thank God!’  Moira gasped. ‘Nathan, can you hear me?’

‘Of course, I can,’ he whispered, in a husky voice. ‘I’m not deaf.’

‘No, but you were dead.’ She checked his pulse again. ‘You were dead! I should call an ambulance, have you checked out properly.’

‘Don’t worry about it. I’ll be fine.’  He started to sit up, but Moira pushed him down again.

‘What are you doing? You were just revived, for fuck’s sake! Lie down, take the load off!’

‘I’m really okay, Moira. Honestly.’  He closed his eyes. ‘Look … don’t call an ambulance. I’m fine. Anyway, I have … I have something to tell you.’

Wow, she thought. And I didn’t even have to break out the paddle!  Truthfully, she felt a bit cheated about that.  She’d been looking forward to a little light … persuasion.

‘What do you have to tell me?’ she asked, only just curbing the compulsion to ask, and does it have anything to do with two probation officers going missing and a third – snarky piece of work that he was – giving his resignation only weeks after starting the job?

‘The storm … it changed us. All of us.’ Nathan almost whispered. ‘Gave us … powers.’

Powers?!

‘Powers?’  Moira repeated. ‘I think I better call 999.  I think you’ve suffered hypoxia. That’s lack of oxygen to the brain.’

Then he said something she expected even less than his previous confession.

‘I’m immortal.’

‘What?’  

He started to sit up. This time she didn’t try to stop him. In truth, she was too stunned to do much of anything except stare in disbelief. ‘What?’

‘I can’t die.’

‘But you did die.’

‘What I mean is, I can’t stay dead.’  

‘You look terrible. Pale. You should lie down again. Rest.’

He ran a hand through his hair, which had finally resisted all the product and was standing on end. ‘I’m fine, really. Can I get a glass of water, though?’

‘Of course.’  

He waited. And chuckled. ‘You can leave me alone in the room, Moira. I’m not going to keel over on you again.’

‘Just checking.’

‘Come to think of it, why did I keel over in the first place?’

‘I … I don’t know,’ Moira lied. ‘You should see a doctor about that. It could be a heart thing.’ She backed into the kitchen, not willing to take her eyes off him, but not for the same reason as before!  ‘You know,’ she called from the other room, ‘I’ve heard of people just dropping dead from arrythmias and stuff like that. Or it could have been a stroke.’

‘Why would I have a stroke? I’m as fit as a horse. Bit lanky on it, but I’m healthy otherwise.’  

‘Like I said, I have no idea.’

She hated lying to him. She really did. It was on the tip of her tongue to confess what she’d done but … what would he do, then? Would he hate her? Would he refuse to talk about what happened on the day of the storm?  What had happened to Tony, or Sally?  There were too many variables. It was safer to lie.

She gave him the glass and watched him drink the water, a lot slower and more careful than he’d downed the tainted gin and tonic.  Does he suspect me? She wondered.  Does he even remember the taste of the G&T?  God, I should really shut up right now. What if one of his powers is that he can read my mind?

 Wow, Moira, taunted her inner voice. Pretty quick to believe him about that, weren’t you? Don’t you know when someone’s taking the piss? He’s obviously playing some kind of game with you. Cat and mouse. He knows you’re lying, so he’s concocted this big fantasy about being a superhero.  Don’t get sucked in! I know you fancy him, but …

Shut up, she thought to herself. Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!!!!

‘Moira?’  

‘Yeah?’

‘I feel a bit … funny.’

‘I told you, you need to go to the hospital. You wouldn’t listen to me.’

He chuckled, loosely. ‘No, not like that.’

‘Like what then?’

His green eyes appraised her, slowly. ‘That is a really nice dress … did I mention that?’

‘Yes, you did, as a matter of fact.’  What was he getting at?

‘Good because you look smokin’ hot tonight.  Like, seriously, if you weren’t my probation officer, I would have totally hit on you by now.’

She laughed, and felt her cheeks grow warm. ‘Well, thanks, that’s very sweet.’

‘But I wouldn’t want to get you into trouble, you know? That kind of thing, you could lose your job.’

He turned those gorgeous green eyes on her again. ‘And you’re the best one we’ve had yet. Haven’t even thought of killing you, once.’

What?!

‘What … sorry, what did you say?’

He burst out laughing. ‘I’m kidding!’ The laughing turned into a fit of coughing. He held a finger up as if to say wait, regrouped, and started again.  ‘I really was just kidding. But … I think I should warn you … we know why you’re here.’

‘We?’

‘All of us. We know. You’re supposed to find out what’s going on. You know, with the first two PO’s.’

The jig, as they say, was up.

‘H-how … where did you get that information?’

‘Kelly.’

‘Kelly … what … so that’s her power? She can read minds?’

‘Yup.’

‘So … you’ve known all along.’ Sigh.

‘Yup.’

Moira sank into the couch beside him. ‘So that’s that, then.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, you made me, didn’t you? I’m fucked. Any chance of finding out what happened now is … well, it never was, was it?’

He met her gaze, steadily. ‘Oh, I don’t know about that.’

‘What are you saying?’

‘I might be open to telling you some things.’ The corner of his mouth turned up in a sexy smirk.

‘Like what?’

He shrugged. ‘I don’t know. Just … things.’

Moira stifled a grin, and narrowed her eyes at him, instead. ‘You’re gonna make me drag it out of you, aren’t you?’

He raised his eyebrows a little. ‘Sounds like fun.’  

And before she knew what she was doing, Moira was kissing him. The compulsion had won out. She wanted him so badly it was like a fire in her belly. A fire she couldn’t control and didn’t want to. A fire that reached right down into her thighs and swept her away. He began kissing her back - after a few seconds of being struck dumb, she imagined.  She barely felt his hand stroke her cheek; push her hair behind her ear. All she could focus on was his lips moving against hers; his tongue lightly flickering in her mouth; her heart pounding in her ears.  A lightheadedness set in. I have to breathe, she thought, but I don’t want this to ever stop!  

His hand slid down to her hip and coaxed her right leg over both of his. In one swift movement she was straddling him. She broke contact with his lips to get some much-needed oxygen and kissed her way over to his earlobe, which she took between her teeth and nibbled, gently. She felt him grow hard against her. ‘You like that, huh?’ she whispered, and bit down a tiny bit harder. His breath got uneven; raspy. She kissed him on the mouth again. His left hand, which had been resting on her hip, slid upward and cupped her breast through the slinky fabric of her dress and bra. His thumb grazed her nipple, and it was her turn to gasp and try and regroup.  But she’d lost track of what his other hand was doing. Until she felt it against her inner thigh, and then between them. He started rubbing gently, and she sank into him, her will to dominate proceedings shrinking with each stroke. His fingers sought out the waistband of her underwear and slipped inside. Moira gasped into his mouth and kissed him harder still.

She didn’t know if it was because she hadn’t been with anyone in months – almost a year, in fact – or because he was particularly good at what he was doing, but he had her bent almost double, leaning over him, burying her face in his dark curls and practically panting in less than a minute.

‘Moira,’ he whispered, ‘Check my jacket pocket. Left side.’

She nodded, still trying to catch her breath, and reached over for his jacket. Little ratbag, she thought. Looks like I wasn’t the only one who came prepared!

She raked her hair back from her face. ‘I’ll just put this on then, will I?’

He grinned. ‘Well, you could but I don’t think it would last very long, after that. But it’s up to you.’

She unwrapped the condom and unfastened his pants.  Slid a hand inside his jockey shorts and curled it around his shaft. He closed his eyes and bit down hard on his bottom lip. Catching him just below the head of his penis, she held him firmly until his face relaxed.

‘See,’ she said. ‘I have my ways. You won’t come until I want you to.’

He took a shuddery breath. ‘Yes, Miss.’

I think I like the sound of that, she thought.  ‘Okay,’ she said, once the condom was in place, ‘Let’s get that shirt off.’  

‘Well I think if I’m going to be practically naked here, it’s only fair that you lose an item of clothing.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah’.

‘You think that, do you?’

‘Damn straight.’

She climbed off his lap and stood up in front of him. Hiking up her dress, she caught the waistband of her underwear and tugged them down. They fell into a pool at her feet. ‘There. That better?’

He nodded. ‘It’s a start.’

‘Well, it’s all you’re getting, for now,’ she informed him.

He smirked and tilted his head. ‘You’re a tad bossy, you know that?’

‘Well, I was a prison guard.’

His eyes widened. ‘Really?’

‘Yep. You guys can have your secrets and I can have mine.’

‘I don’t have any secrets from you. Not now. Not anymore. I’ve told you everything I know.  Barry on the other hand …’

‘Simon is none of my concern right now,’ she said, kneeling between his legs. She leaned forward and grabbed the waistband of his pants. ‘Lift your butt.’

He did as he was told, and she tugged his pants down, pulling them off his legs and discarding them in the pile with his shoes. ‘Now for the shirt,’ she said.

‘Don’t you think this is awfully one-sided? I mean, here I am, naked, vulnerable …’

 ‘Shut up.’

‘Okay.’

When he was down to his jockey shorts, Moira stood up and looked him over, and for a brief moment, her bravado nearly slipped. He’s barely twenty-two years of age, she thought, and here I am, forty-three, closing in on menopause. What’s he going to think of me?  I’m not all firm like girls his age. Things haven’t … stayed in the same place. They’ve moved. Gravity gets you eventually. What if he thinks I’m gross?

‘Are you okay?’

‘I just … yeah, I’m fine.’ She gulped and reached up, pushing the strap of her dress down her shoulder.

‘Hey, you know, I was only kidding. If you’re nervous about this, you can leave the dress on.’

‘That’s hardly fair though, is it?’

‘I just … don’t want you to be uncomfortable. That’s all. You look terrified.’

‘I do?’

He nodded. ‘You talk a good game, tough and all that, but you’re a softie inside. You care what people think.’

He’s right, she realized. Damn him, he’s figured me out.

‘And you wanna know what I think?’

She shrugged. ‘All right … what do you think?’

‘I think you’re beautiful. I think I’ve never been more turned on in my short, sad life.’

Her breath caught in her throat. ‘Really?’

‘Really.’

She dropped the dress and watched him watch her. He didn’t lose his erection so that was something. Maybe he is telling the truth, she thought.  She let the bra drop to the floor with the dress.

‘Sensational,’ he said, in a husky voice that didn’t sound quite like the cocky delinquent she knew.

‘Great,’ she said, with a nervous smile. ‘Now let’s get those jocks of yours off so I can shag you senseless.’

[hshouse]

Louis Covidson it is now. Dont care about the band crew family or his stans. Lets spread Omicron by getting everyone infected cause hanging in a pub with his beloved chavs is the top priority.

please for the love of god take me out of this hit list I’m literally never here I genuinely stopped even understanding your general point

[babyawacs]

#ai #calculate #ruin #time #dies #age 45 #47 cardiomyopathy ? Intel murder tricks .@medic @medic @medics @doc @doctor @redcross @drk @doctorswithoutborders @msf @msffoundation  Whichof the constant harms is rightnow more urgent which repeat r ampant:  ‎ Ontopofthis Tothis thereare  mengele surgeries ontop And badmixes ontop And to it‎ Chav leecheries allthat helps biology usually lifetime zellstoff kernstoff energy //// Germans guts subdues kill Itis Murder grampy It kills It kills with emboly trombosis make brink It  damamges the kidneys‎ the heart Itis Staged orgnafail It infects gallbladder And it causes the hemmorroides So trying tocrap 4times aday unable forinstance Check the whole list this trick damamged That what it damamges R

#ai #calculate #ruin #time #dies #age 45 #47 cardiomyopathy ? Intel murder tricks .@medic @medic @medics @doc @doctor @redcross @drk @doctorswithoutborders @msf @msffoundation  Whichof the constant harms is rightnow more urgent which repeat r ampant:  ‎ Ontopofthis Tothis thereare  mengele surgeries ontop And badmixes ontop And to it‎ Chav leecheries allthat helps biology usually lifetime zellstoff kernstoff energy //// Germans guts subdues kill Itis Murder grampy It kills It kills with emboly trombosis make brink It  damamges the kidneys‎ the heart Itis Staged orgnafail It infects gallbladder And it causes the hemmorroides So trying tocrap 4times aday unable forinstance Check the whole list this trick damamged That what it damamges R

#ai #calculate #ruin #time #dies #age 45 #47 cardiomyopathy ? Intel murder tricks .@medic @medic @medics @doc @doctor @redcross @drk @doctorswithoutborders @msf @msffoundation Whichof the constant harms is rightnow more urgent which repeat rampant: ‎ Ontopofthis Tothis thereare mengele surgeries ontop And badmixes ontop And to it‎ Chav leecheries allthat helps biology usually lifetime zellstoff…

[hailsnow3]

Cryopen Cryotherapy details.

Zimmer Cryo 6 Cyro therapy System.

Content

After therapy.

Why choose Fat Freezing?

Mole center At Mallucci London.

Our center.

how Much Time Does The treatment Take?

It's Called persistent Fat For a Factor!

Hifu Vaginal tightening.

They can likewise be operatively gotten rid of, occasionally using neighborhood anaesthetic. Skin tags are constructed from loosened collagen fibres as well as capillary bordered by skin. Skin tags are small, soft, skin-coloured developments on your skin. They can differ in colour as well as dimension-- from a few millimetres up to 5cm vast.

How does fat leave the body?

Research shows that 84% of fat loss is exhaled as carbon dioxide. The remaining 16% of fat is excreted as water. During the conversion of energy, carbon dioxide, and water are byproducts of waste. They are excreted via urine, perspiration, and exhalation.

For inquiries or guidance regarding employment rights, speak to the Work Relations Agency. If you have a remark or question about benefits, you will certainly need to call the federal government department or company which handles that advantage. The nidirect personal privacy notification puts on any kind of information you send out on this feedback form. If you have a question about a government solution or plan, you should contact the relevant federal government organisation straight as we do not have access to information regarding you held by federal government departments. This comments form is for problems with the nidirect internet site only. Skin tags are harmless and don't usually create discomfort or pain.

Just enter your information listed below and also we'll ring you to supply a quote or answer your inquiries. We will use your individual information to refine your query and contact you with pertinent information. For additional details, please see our website privacy policy. They are composed of loosened collagen fibers and blood vessels, bordered by skin, and also they expand in a projectile pattern.

Does fat freezing work?

Cryolipolysis appears to be a safe and effective treatment for fat loss without the downtime of liposuction or surgery. But it is important to note that cryolipolysis is intended for fat loss, not weight loss.

Disabled or persistantly sick individuals can assert BARREL relief on purchases for personal or residential usage that are applicable to their impairment or sickness. Skin tags can conveniently be burnt or scorned in a comparable method to how growths are removed.

After therapy.

Can you eat after fat freezing?

The answer is 'nope'you cannot eat whatever you want after CoolSculpting. Fat-freezing helps reduce the persistent flab leftover after losing weight. It's not a replacement for diet and exercise.

While it is true apparently that the criminal offenses of wrong-doers were suggested on indications where they were held in the stocks or pillory, there is no proof that 'unlawful carnal knowledge' was penalized or defined this way. Clenched fist associates right here to the striking context, not the sexual interpretation, which is an entire different tale. Remarkably the funny and also story-telling use of bacronyms is an usual device for creating hoax word derivations. chav - repulsive anti-social individual, male or lady, typically young - this just recently preferred slang word has actually generated a mischievous and also totally retrospective' bacronym' - Council Housed As Well As Violent. This old use was not then necessarily insulting, unlike the contemporary meaning of chav, which most certainly is.

In the North-East of England the modern-day versions are charva and also charver, which adds no reliability to the Chatham misconception. Please send me any type of other concepts and regional analyses of the word chav.

If you do not authorization for us to refine your individual data for advertising tasks, we will certainly still be able to call you concerning your enquiry. Your specialist will certainly speak to you about the possible dangers and also issues of having this procedure and also how they relate to you.

Why select Fat Freezing?

When it does I would expect much confusion regarding its beginnings, but as I claim it has definitely nothing to do with food preparation. shouting mimi/mimi's/ meemies/meamies - An aliterative expression with comparable definitions to sibling terms such as heebie-jeebies and also yelling abdabs, which roll off the tongue equally well. The typical use of the expression seems to be American, with numerous referrals recommending initial usage of the 'meemies/mimis' part from as much back as the 1920s. An abyss significance has established ever since to explain a poor reaction to medicines, instead like the expression 'cold turkey'. A 'Screaming Meemie' was additionally United States military vernacular for the German 'nebel-werfer', a multi-barelled mortar.

They must additionally be increased over the skin on a stalk or stem like piece of skin. Aggravated or contaminated skin with indications of redness, itching or swelling. such as moles, birthmarks, dark-coloured, hairy or any type of unusual-looking skin problem.

Skin tags a little developments, usually located in the eyelids, neck, underarms, groin, under the busts as well as in the folds of the butts-- anywhere, in fact where the skin scrubs versus itself. Apex would love to provide you with marketing information about product or services used by Spire and by selected third-party companions.

Mole clinic At Mallucci London.

Please upload clear photo of the area for our clinical personnel to review. you can find more information on Lipo360.co.uk's double chin tightening Corby here. in for therapy by having your problem evaluated by our medical nurses absolutely free. I consent to Sentinel Healthcare gathering my details via this type. Skin tags are small flesh-coloured or brown developments that hang off the skin and also look a bit like warts. You might intend to take into consideration Surgical procedure to get them removed if they are undesirable and influence your self-worth, or if they grab on clothing or jewelry and hemorrhage.

Our clinic.

There is frequently no need to eliminate them unless they obtain bigger, infected or frequently traumatised or they transform. In some cases you bother with an altering mole, that resembles a tag.

how Much Time Does The therapy Take?

We likewise offer FREE testimonial appointments, if you would like to be examined in person. Skin tags are tiny, soft, skin-coloured growths that hang off the skin and also look a bit like blemishes. Complete your information to see one of our experts at a practical time for you. A dark scab will certainly develop, the size of a dot, do not select as well as permit to fall off on its own. No covering or clothing is needed complying with surgery, however we may offer you a place plaster just to cover the location for the first few hours adhering to surgical treatment. If you desire to check on a problem or mistake you have actually currently reported, get in touch with DfI Roads.

Elimination is a reasonably straightforward procedure that is normally done under neighborhood anaesthesia-- so you will not really feel any discomfort and also you'll be able to go residence the exact same day. You should be able to relocate them backward and forward with your finger.

How many inches can you lose with CoolSculpting?

Results vary for each patient. However, there is an average of 20-30% reduction in the treated area, which can significantly slim and contour your waist and abdominal region. Many patients lose several inches from their waistline after the completion of their recommended treatment plan.

Just how huge and visible this will be depends on the precise procedure. We will certainly additionally give you suggestions on how to minimize the look of your mark, such as gently massaging the site after your stitches have been eliminated. You won't require to take time off job and you ought to be able to go back to your normal tasks quickly. This is a routine day instance or outpatient treatment, so clients can leave as soon as they are ready to be discharged. Our patients are at the heart of what we do and we want you to be in control of your treatment. To us, that means you can select the specialist you want to see, and also when you want.

It is a fascinating sensation, which illustrates an important part of how languages evolve - especially the impact of international words - and the close inter-dependence between language and culture. The term lingua franca is itself an instance of the lingua franca result, since the expression lingua franca, currently taken in right into English is initially Italian, from Latin, indicating essentially 'language Frankish '. Frankish describes the Frankish realm which controlled much of landmass South-West Europe from the 3rd to the fifth centuries. Huge busy cities including diverse areas, specifically traveling as well as trade hubs, offer an abundant setting for the usage as well as development of lingua franca language. Appropriately, an indicator would be placed outside the bed-chamber, or perhaps hung like a 'do not disturb' notification from the door take care of, showing words 'Fornication Under Permission of the King'. Sadly however that this rather improbable beginning has no support whatsoever in any kind of trustworthy referral sources.

It's Called persistent Fat For a Reason!

I would certainly suggest the HIFU treatment for anyone who wants the very same outcomes as surgical procedure, without going under the knife.

botox alternative Bedford will respond to all your questions, clarify each treatment in a language that you can understand as well as provide in advance and straightforward advice on how you can best redefine your body!

the number one botox alternative Northampton 'll additionally be shown existing before and also after photos of clients similar to you to ensure that you'll get an actual feeling for how your body could be transformed.

At the end of your assessment, you'll be presented with your recommended treatment programme along with transparent pricing for you to take house to think about.

The enhancement in my skin was a gradual process over 2-3 months, monthly I can notice my skin getting firmer, tighter as well as smoother.

Some HIFU makers come component of a multi-platform tool, these have a tendency to be much less effective as they supply various modern technologies in one device (like a jack of all trades!).

Each clients' treatment strategy is personal and also customized, made to assist each individual lookandfeel much better.

A committed tool to this solitary HIFU technology is far more effective.

The pot refers to the pot which holds the stake cash in betting. The associated term 'skin video game' refers to any type of form of gambling which is likely to cheat the unwary as well as unaware. Evaluating by the little variety of examples (just three in the context of business/negotiating) located on Google at March 2008 of the expression 'skin in the pot', the expression has just very recently theatened to go mainstream.

Hifu Vaginal firm.

They are smooth and soft as well as, unlike protuberances, they are not contagious. They may bleed if they remain in a revealed location however they are painless, benign and also harmless in themselves.

[angrynerdmaria-blog]

Blessing and evil of being a luxury brand

What struck me most in studying the case of Burberry in Branding course framework and outside of it was the way a brand with deluxe rank can impose enormous risks to the identity of its own self simply by just being what it is with all its quintessence.

Burberry, the brand associated with finest products with over a century-and-a-half history, the brand worn by aristocrats and royalties, the brand characterized throughout time as elite, refined, attributed to traditions of fine quality and identity of fair ladies and honorary gentlemen, at certain point of its lifecycle came to be associated, contrastingly, with bad taste and identity of “chavs” – antisocial British youth subculture characterized by low class, harsh behavior and stereotypically dressed in counterfeit designer clothes. Simply unbelievable.

A few words about how this happened. The signature Burberry checks, due to its broad exposure through the massive usage in vast amount of original Burberry products, became a pattern that could be easily reproduced and counterfeited, and eventually widely adopted by lower class subcultures playing on the exposure of this feature of the deluxe British Brand, as well as some affordable and characteristic products that Burberry started to produce (e.g. a £50 checkered baseball hat). Poor control over production and distribution chains that was typical of Burberry during its brand crisis of 90-s lead to the brand being heavily affected by the phenomenon of proletarian drift – the tendency when objects related to high class inexorably become commonplace due to trends of mass production. Thus, once emblematic checks of Burberry came to be associated with poor taste and vulgar image. Popularized now, the typical checks started to get growing exposure among football hooligans, street hip-hop singers and other groups of questionable reputation. This completely changed the way people saw Burberry. The company started to fail controls over its own image, it completely lost the icon of high-end clothing, which immediately affected the sales and infected brand reputation. Burberry has become a victim of its own success

 What did Burberry do in response? The very first and obvious step was to redesign collections in a way the checks exposure became controlled, tending to appear more in lining and small fine details of the products, as well as stopping the production of notorious baseball cap. However, heavily damaged brand needed an extended strategy of revival in all possible aspects apart from design – its supply chain, its distribution models, design, licensing, advertising campaigns and publicity. This was the period when Rose Marie Bravo took the CEO position and we know the successful revival story that happened from then on and took years to bring the brand back to life.

I can clearly conclude now that being a conventional and a deluxe brand in fashion are two completely different strategies of marketing and understand why designer brands want – and need – to control their brand so accurately. I understand now what they need to go through to control what their image in media and society carries, who wears their brand and what celebrities endorse it (and that explains to me very well why Burberry stopped cooperating with Kate Moss after the supermodel’s cocaine scandal and related explicit photos went viral in press), how their distribution and sales channels have to be mapped, what sort of manufacturing facilities should produce for them, how country-specific strategies should be built in global market. Every single detail of brand building matters and can easily play an evil game against its owner. Being luxury and being conventional, though operating in the same field of fashion and apparel, are two different approaches.

Key takeaways for me in cautious luxury brand management include:

·      Be consistent along the personas involved in the brand, this may include all kinds of stakeholders, like customers, managers, publicity campaigns personas, historically associated characters, and celebrities that endorse the brand – all of these groups are powerful influencers

·      Distinguish the brand’s story and mystique, advocate it, communicate brand’s exclusivity through it

·      Grip a firm control over manufacturing, licensing and distribution chains

·      Be very careful with design elements going viral and spreading into masses

·      Do not consider your brand as a visual icon and do not overvalue the latter, but do protect it

·      Be consistent along the brand’s price points

·      Create your store and store experiences to communicate brand beliefs

·      Embrace and control social media

·      Have a crisis management team always ready for action

·      In overall, implement strict measures of brand safety along all the campaigns

[burndownthehousetonight]

Fake Lyrics

So, this is kind of a weird post. You know how I write lyrics for a lot of the scenes that show up in my RPs? Whenever I do that, I use a placeholder melody to make sure they would flow with the tune, even if there’s a small stretch to the melody. As per request by @tinyredartist, This is sort of a catalog of the fake lyrics I’ve written and the melodies I used. There are timestamps to know what part I references, or referenced most heavily, in some cases.

IMPORTANT: My music taste is varied and absolutely terrible. Despite the character I write for, I am embarrassingly unknowledgable when it comes to music, so don’t go expecting the lourve down here.

If you just wanna hear the music, you can find a playlist of every song on this list here

Andra Day - Gold

"Tell me all about your violent history 'Bout your scars and all your little fights Take me to the marble gardens Gonna have to beg your pardon But I can't wait another night" (1:09) "But starlight won't look on, or do you want that? Midnight, dusk and dawn will forget all our crimes Give me a taste, just one taste too much Night is over, the day's arrived How are we alive?"  (1:49)

Bobby Caldwell - What You Won’t Do For Love

"Go get our epitaphs engraved And we'll destroy the brand new age Brick and mortar turned to gold Under butchered steel and atomic roads" (0:11)

Natalia Kills - Saturday Night

"Let's die in God-forsaken rays His golden light, our purple haze One night with blasphemy Through the rosy lens of an Oxy craze" (0:35)

Gloria Gaynor - I Will Survive

"Don't go flagging down that Benz Don't kiss that diamond Cartier Those red flags are dyed with blood from guys who couldn't get away" (0:30)

Macy Gray - I’ve Committed Murder

"I've already died for you, no, no one's got a clue Pick me up at Shana's Tavern and we'll shift to overdrive You can find our stolen kisses hidden underneath my "grave" They can pry it from our corpses when we burn alive" (0:44)

Eddie From Ohio - Twenty Thousand Hearts

"It's all frigid shade for the autumn raids But we're breathing, moving Shattered, but the ceasefire's ordered We're safe, close, and quartered No battle lines are drawn" (0:53)

Marina and the Diamonds - Radioactive

"Kiddo's got a new scar Better sound the alarms He's deliriously happy from that saber-tooth charm" (0:15) "I'll never be your green-eyed concubine I'd kill you, but those muscles looks divine Those hips are mine" (2:25)

Lee Brotherton - Dream of an Absolution

"I can't have the past stay prologue when I'm dying to feel your touch But I can't bear to take replacement With a faker's pathetic clutch" (0:43)

Blue Stahli - Corner

"You ain't the first to rip through this flawless masochistic chest Come give that C4 cradle Lullay and lullay my pain to rest" (1:41)

Heather Dale - Medusa

"You ain't sorry, don't you hide that shit behavior Say your prayers, cause you're gonna meet your savior Was your life worth one night of wasted trust? Your skin'll leather up real nice for a jacket of your lust" (0:47)

Cruel Youth - Mister Watson

“Ms. Manners, save it, we don't need moral crap We ain't gutter trash with hearts of gold, just criminal hacks No point in talking, save that uppity trash We don't need your help, just let us live in white And diamond black “ (0:47)

Sia - Big Girls Cry

“Come on into our summer ocean Bring some friends and we'll cause commotion Take a ride on the wave vibrato I’ve got music and bad moscato Perfect friends and a gold tomorrow” (0:42)

MØ - Lean On

“Nothing left for us here But some ratshit town running backwards Let Godiva’s men curdle up and melt To our last performance Played on jerrycans and revolvers“ (0:15)

Alexa Vega - Infected

“I'm bleeding out, don't come no closer I'm bleeding out, don't come no closer Don't blame me if I bled on your ax When it came from your psycho attacks You ain't Norman Bates, you're just some B-list edgy trash” (0:53)

Ruth B - First Time

“I won't remember this song tomorrow, guess that's how it goes But I'll remember hydrangea blue and bubblegum primrose I won't remember a single note I'm struggling to let out But I'll love this homemade sweet bouquet of emerald clover sprouts” (0:42)

X - Around My Heart

“Falling up the sky Splashed into constellations Floated on 'til they forced me to fall That's how I came here” (0:18)

Stacey Q - Two Of Hearts

"Today, is it gonna be a reminiscence about you? Or is that coin gonna fall on self disgust? I wasn't close to self destruction, I was close to you Dorado ain't so grand without your diamond dust” (0:15)

Sylvan Esso - Die Young

“I thought you were the one hooked on narcotics But I miss your vomit, it's so tragicomic Everything looks ugly under incandescence Hide it under neon, just don't hide your presence” (0:07)

Scissor Sisters - Mary

“Pistol whip me, hack me like a lamb Be my drugged-out viscous high I sponged off your love, destroyed your band Please sleep with me, please skin me one last time

Oh, love you 'til I die.... Oh, love me 'til I die” (0:46)

Huey Lewis & the News - Power of Love

“Take a number, take a seat, Tons of better man want a taste of me I don’t have the time for some guttertrash punk A white trash black-out drunk" (0:57)

Bad Brains - Big Take Over

“Let’s make a show outta my assault We won’t warn them, no chance to knock Slam me down, get me off on the asphalt They’re gonna watch me ride that cock” (0:48)

Bruno Mars - Finesse

“Let’s find out if we’re a match Got a gambling heart Place your bets on if we’ll last It’s all or nothing” (1:06)

A Flock of Seagulls - Space Age Love Song

“The poppies dyed Your hair virgin white You were Ceres’s child But you shriveled in fall” (1:01)

“Your crown of leaves Glistened vibrantly Sweet Persephone, All your flowers were pulled” (1:30)

Amberian Dawn - River of Tuoni

“It’s all gilded golden bile The sweetest chocolate smooth dripping arsenic Take one bite and watch the world Glitch and tear and iridesce into amethyst No one shall ever survive Drowning in your violet blood" (0:35)

Demi Lovato - Sorry Not Sorry

“Drinking fine fine wine and shitty booze Got nothing left to lose Looking pretty like a bruise Miss Violet B ain't feeling half as broken as me So make it hurt” (0:06)

Descendants - Suburban Home

“Gonna need 'bout twenty coffins Come and make your funeral offerings Rest in peace, you splattered chav Pollock made by molotov” (0:33)

The Proclaimers - Sunshine on Leith

“My death approaches, decades of notice No now, no then, just see what happens One more is gone, like daylight and song Changing tides stay calm Riding the path of times arrow's wrath Swells terror and intrigue and grandeur and mystery One straight shot“ (1:08)

((More will be added as more fake lyrics are written))